Funny Round Balls

I'm a sports fan. I love watching it on TV but nothing beats going to games for real. I've been a regular at Safeco Field, home of the Seattle Mariners (baseball), and have also been to Seahawks (pro football) and Husky (college football) games too in the last few months.

I miss the sports that I'd not only learnt but had also learnt to love.

So when my Dad asked me if I wanted to go to a Cheltenham Town football game with him and Pete, I jumped at the chance. This is the kind of football with the round ball, rather then the small, pointy one! Soccer, in other words.

Cheltenham Town inhabits the very lower reaches of professional British soccer, perhaps the equivalent of class A or AA baseball, with a mix of those on the way up, those on the way down and those who have spent a long, long time going nowhere.

Their 'ground', to use British parlance (in any case, 'stadium' would be a bit of a stretch), is located in a residential area of the town. Parking is a pain but with an average attendence of 4-5,000, you never have to walk far.

After a quick pint in the bar we took up our places on the terrace behind one of the goals. When I say "our places", I mean just that. Pete and his crowd have stood next to the same steel column ever since they've been Cheltenham fans.

It was thirty years since I'd been to a soccer, sorry, 'football' game with my Dad ... and just as long since I'd stood at one. The Hillsborough tragedy of 1989, in which 96 football fans died, brought about the end of terracing and the introduction of all-seater stadia for most professional clubs.

The poorer clubs, in the lower reaches of the professional game, would have been bankrupted if they'd been required to build all-seater grounds, so they were allowed to keep their terraces. Over time most have introduced seating but many, like Cheltenham, have retained one section of terracings. It's where you'll find the old-timers, the diehards and the hardcore fans

It was like going back in time ... and nothing like any pro sports event I'd been to for the past five years. You know how at baseball and football games the jumbotron tells you when to make a noise? Well Cheltenham Town neither has nor needs one.

"Turley is a smackhead" was the tuneful chant that greeted Oxford Utd.'s goalkeeper as he took up his place in the goal in front of us. Like many fans chants, it has to be heard for the humour to be appreciated.

And for those Dads out there trying deperately not to swear in front of their kids, a soccer game is the perfect excuse when junior slips an expletive innocently into his or her vocabulary. "He must have picked it up at the game, honey. The lads chants can get a little fruity."

I laughed and smile my way through 90 minutes of a 2nd Round FA Cup tie, with the winner going through to the next round, where they could meet the likes of Manchester Utd., Chelsea or Liverpool.

For some reason, both teams chose to play their best when attacking the goal in front of us. This made for great drama but I thought Pete was going to have a heart attack in the second half when Oxford were trying to score there. The woodwork saved Cheltenham Town three times before the inevitable equaliser to Cheltenham's opening score snuck past the goalie and hit the back of the net.

Cheltenham hung on for the draw, the game ending 1-1, with a replay next Tuesday ... watch this space for the outcome.

The result reminded me of another childhood ritual ... the pools.

This is possibly the most unAmerican form of sports gambling imaginable ... because you're trying to predict which soccer games will end in a score draw (eg. 1-1, 2-2 etc.). You choose 12 games and if you're right with ten or so then you'll win a shitload of money.

We tried to predict the game based on form, based on family birthdays and probably using a pin with our eyes closed. It was always done at the last moment, just before the 'pools man' collected the form and Dad's money. I think we won five pounds one time .... but maybe I'm dreaming!

Another nine like Cheltenham vs. Oxford and that trip to Cuba would be on. But as I never entered, I can't whine about not winning ...